JOLT — #6

Episode 6 — Everything Fine?

Arvy Bala
8 min readMay 16, 2020

Previously on JOLT: Talking to his beloved brother and then being refused to see his wife who was being prepped for the procedure, Rahamat tried to text his friends and thought about one of many beautiful fixes he made in his life. A message surprised him while he still wondered what had happened.

Still hesitating to hit send on the text, I was called upon again by the nurse.

“Mr. Rahamat! We will be taking your wife to the Operation Ward and the procedure will start in 20mins. Do you wish to talk to her? I mean briefly. We know that you tried earlier to meet her.”

Refusing to raise my blood pressure, I chose to stay back. One storm at a time. The message still didn’t leave the textbox while a message popped up.

Maaran: Hey asshole! We’re on our way! :)

Smiling at the message, I locked my phone and kept inside. Kept staring at the TV for a few moments. I was informed that the procedure may take around an hour to two, so I went out and got so stressed out. With all the ruckus running around in my mind, all I ever realised was — Everything was because of me.

Strolled the corridors and went out to have Tea from a local shop near the hospital.

Casually sipping the hot tea, the froth made a moustache over my real one. The beverage was unbelievably good and appreciated the vendor.

Vendor — “Thank you sir! Hope you find it peaceful.”

Me — ‘Yeah, a breath of relief atleast till the tea is complete.’

Vendor — “Sir! Don’t be scared to ask for the second cup.” and we shared a laugh. He continued to ask, “What brings you here, sir?”

Me — ‘Hmm! My wife is admitted here.’

Vendor — “Sir! Don’t worry sir! You drank my tea no…. she will become alright.”

That sounded absolutely impossible but he patted my back, that’s for sure. Waiting for my second cup of tea, I was munching on a butter biscuit and got a call from Sangeet.

Me — ‘Hey! Is everything fine? You were in a hurry.’

Sangeet — “Absolutely fine! Molly and Jeff will take care of it. Are your buddies there yet? Is the procedure started? Did you see her?”

Me — ‘She went in like half hour ago da. No, I was pretty nervous and how do you know about my friends.’

Sangeet — “Atleast take a guess. So much for being my brother. Sucker! Okay, call me or text me when you get time after the operation is over. And you better eat something for dinner. You didn’t eat anything today.”

Me — ‘Yeah! Bye.’

Walked back inside and it was only 45minutes since. Time seems to run very slow now and so I watched the comedy channel running on the TV in waiting hall. The comedy scene about a brother and sister reminded me about the time when Kiran and I spoke during the midnight in a camping trip we all went.

Many years ago on the Trip

A few minutes later, I zipped down my tent and popped my head outside.

Kiran spoke, “My dear brother! Not feeling sleepy?” and I replied — ‘Yes! I felt like I didn’t talk much.’

She immediately stepped down and asked, “Yeah, I’m feeling fresh too. Can we take a small walk?”

Pulled my hoodie out of the bag as the settling mist was shaking us to the core. Kiran, despite wearing her coat and a scarf, her teeth spoke a rattle-tale apart from her dialogues.

We took an alternate route to the mountain. Ascended a bit, upto level-1 and sat on the rocks. It was cold but we shivered less due to lack of air.

I asked, ‘Kiran! You wanted to tell something and you stopped halfway through. Now, would you care to tell what it is?’

She raised her left eyebrow — “You‘re just like your brother. You are very sharp in finding out what’s wrong with me. You’re like a second mom, only less strict.”

Laughed and said, ‘Now tell me if you really wish to.’

She made a serious face expression, “My parents are convincing me to get married which ofcourse I’m not at all interested.”

Me — ‘What? You just finished your college. Did you atleast say something?’

Kiran — “I would always. But they’re still fixated on it. Can’t blame them though, bro. It’s been happening since last year”

Me — ‘What?’

Kiran — “Yeah! I know. I didn’t wanna startle anyone. I dunno if I’m ready for it now. I just chose not to talk about it.”

Me — ‘We all write our own destinies, Keers. I don’t know if I’m in a position to say it but you aren’t in an emotional balance to take in such a huge deal. Also, you should really have some acceptance about it. We can’t do things that do not work. We only make decisions on the things that are put to us.’

Kiran — “I understand brother. You think I can take it?”

Me — ‘Ever thought of asking that question yourself?’

She was staring at the skies for a while and replied, “No! Actually….I don’t think it’s possible. I wanna do my PG. Get a work and then wait for a moment to pass in my life. Until a streak comes by, I may not take it. Cause doing something so worthy when I am a bit worthless is a causality. Or maybe it’s other way around. Whatever!”

And I stood up and looked at her, ‘There you go!’

Pulled Kiran up and walked our way back to the stay-tents. She asked, “Wait! You were gonna say something? You alright?”

Holding back to talk about my anxiety I said, ‘Yeah, everything’s fine. I got…you guys. So, what’s there to worry!’

She clearly knew something was totally off about me and kept pestering me to talk about it. But little did I know she had such a thing running on her mind.

Back at Hospital

Years later now I realised that some people write their own fate and maybe if she hadn’t conversed with me about her life choices, it would have met with a worst decision making point in her life. And that’s how I barely re-wrote another friend’s destiny saving myself from making a greatest mistake of my life. Rewinding back to such change of events makes me think that it wasn’t probably one mistake and it was a ripple in the lake. Outliving so many beautiful moments again and again, made me realise that after all those lifetimes and in the final chance to live with these people… I manage to screw-up big time. And tears ran through my cheeks out of joy and sadness.

A person sitting next to was concerned and asked me, “Sir! You seem so thoughtful about something. What happened? Do you wish to tell?”

I said out of desparation, ‘If at all, these wouldn’t have ever happened, everyone would have gotten a chance to live happier without my annoyance.’

He replied, “I do not understand what kind of trouble you’re facing but sir… we don’t get to decide certain things. We can only be happy with what you have sir and choose the decisions put to us.”

It was nearing 8:30PM and an executive came into the waiting hall to escort me to the hallway.

“Mr. Rahamat! The operation is over. Pooja is safe and still under. Will take half hour to regain consciousness. We will bring her to the ward in a few minutes. Do you wish to visit the ward or prefer to wait until she’s up?”

With much hesitation I responded, ‘I will be around here. I’m waiting for some people to arrive.’

A voice from behind, “Some people? We are… some people?”

It was Kiran biting her teeth with anger. Accompanied by Maaran and Avi. Yeah, they were accompanied by anger too.

Kiran — “Ma’am! If all 4 of us can visit her at the ward, we’ll surely wait there instead of here.”

She walked away and Maaran spoke, “So, flashbacks?”

I squinted and he replied, “When have you ever stayed vigilant of your environment without distracting yourself out of unnecessary thoughts?”

Exhaled, contemplated to tell them but yet without anymore hesitation I said,

‘Guys! I’m so sorry. I was so pissed off and out of mind. She was one of your friends too. Shouldn’t have shooed you away. Also, it was pretty hard to book a cab from that place.’

Avi — “Not once could you be serious without jokes uhn? I guess they might’ve moved her to the ward. Come let’s go!”

At the Ward, in her room

We were waiting for her to wake up while I sat near her bed in a chair, holding her hands and staring at her face. Maaran was looking out the window and the girls were meddling with their phones on the bench.

‘God!’ I groaned.

Maaran closed the screen and looked at me, “Rahamat! Quick riddle. When did you get tired of something that happened in your life?”

Hesitantly, ‘Never in 786 times, I guess is the answer?’

Put his hand on my shoulder, “Yes! That’s how it probably works man. This is as real as it gets. I know you haven’t done anything on your behalf to fix me but somehow this is feeling convincing after all the fictitiously true stories you’ve said to us that you outlived.”

Straightened up myself while something struck my mind, ‘We write our own destinies.’

Kiran — “You said that to me many years ago!”

I stood and stared at Maaran, ‘You made your own decision. This is great. I solved the equation. Yeah! I am out of all these when I truly realise that I am not involved in changing your life. Any of you guys, in that matter!’

Kiran put her phone down and briefly looked at Maaran and Avi. She said, “Well! That means there’s only one thing left to do.”

Avi — “NO! You know there’ll be consequences, right?”

Maaran flicked, “Not in the face of Armageddon. She’s right, Avi! Nothing will happen because…yeah! Nothing will happen. Go ahead Keers!”

I was confused, “The hell are you guys talking about?”

Pooja said in a low voice, “Yeah! What the hell are you guys loudly whimpering about? Can’t you see I’m sleeping?”

~to be continued~