This is just a prelim content I am starting for my first e-book. Please read through and I appreciate genuine feedback. I would love it if it were in a few sentences rather than “very good”, “good”, “worst ra dei”, or “onnum velangala!” etc.,This is just a test content from my story and is not even grammar passed.
Queen Becca grabbed onto her 6-foot wand and planted it on the floor. The head of the stick glowed white as she commanded her castle, “His arrival is noted! Everyone departs at once. This is my ORDER!”
Everyone rushed outside through the sideway to the dark hallways to protect themselves.
The Queen’s wand glowed brighter and brighter now. She grabbed onto her shield and took a stance with her army towards the door. The door was knocked gently.
One of her soldiers rushed and she shushed — “The arrival is not gentle. Be careful!”
And the person and/or thing banged the door and someone yelled in a loud voice to open the door.
Becca commanded, “Hope in heart and Justice in our hands. Lord Victus gives us strength!”
Everyone in the hall echoed, “Hail Lord Victus!”
And the door blast opened by the enemy. They had used a bomb to open the door. The entrance was filled with smoke.
A horse head came through, and sat on it, a man. A man with an unusually loud voice that shook the entire courtroom, “Queen Becca!”
Commander in Chief murmured under her breath, “Well, another man to fight?”
The Queen’s wand glowed yellow and Becca replied to him, “King Freeman!”
Freeman responded, “The apple of my eye” and his eyes glowed red. He continued, “I have searched many kingdoms for the Queen’s wand. I did not believe when King Colter said that it belongs to you and you successfully wield it. On the face of this earth, only two people had consumed the potion of Julius. You and me, on our wedding ceremony. And only those who did, could wield it. I have acquired all the power in this world. And yet, the Queen’s wand remain. I have come to collect my priceless possession from my priceless Queen, Becca!”
Queen Becca raised her wand and gave out a warcry that shook the entire castle and she said in a loud voice, “For Lord Victus!” The soldiers fell flat on the floor, facing downwards and she planted the wand on the floor hard enough it created a yellow wave of dandelion blast that destroyed the entire enemy crowd and almost killed King Freeman. His right leg was crushed under his dead horse he walked in.
With all his strength, he stood up and limped towards her. She was drained of all her strength and stood with the support of her powerless wand. Because the final spell is so powerful that it almost kills the user.
King Freeman spoke feebly, “My love! Why would you do this? I was born to rule the Central Earth. I should be the king. You could’ve been my queen.”
Becca coughed, laughed and replied, “This land will never be ruled by a King! Ahh!” and she broke the wand.
The wand, if broken after the final spell, will let out a smoke that instantly kills anyone or everyone standing in the room. The smoke or in simple terms, the spirit of the Queen’s wand travels back to the caves of magic built by Marcus Agripe.
Several Centuries Later
Leo wakes up to his alarm at 6AM and is all bouncy and cheerful today. Got out of his bed and stretched like a cat, walked straight to the bathroom and hit refresh.
Came out 15 minutes later and went straight to the kitchen to prepare his coffee. Holding the black coffee in his usual coffee mug that his company gifted for his birthday, stepped out to the first floor balcony. He lived in a gated housing community and his house-owner lived right opposite the street. Many people were walking on the roads, cats roaming freely with it’s families. Some people waved towards him as he smiled at them.
He realised the day was going to be good for him as he turned around and gently raised his cup as it levitated in the air. And he directed it towards the kitchen as it flew and landed straight into the kitchen sink.
“Hello world! Time to tell my story. My name is Leonardo and I work as a multi-specialist workshop man in the CATALIN robot factory. I may be different than the others but like my wife suggested, I could probably make new friends here too.”
And he started his new chapter of life.